If you have ever known a young child (or a childish adult), you may know that the orchestrated noise called the "cry" is a tradition celebrated nearly once a day...or hour (if he's really having a hard day). And if you've ever known an adult who has been around a child when this vocal tradition is celebrated, you may well understand the emotional volcano that fights to erupt inside you.
But today I had a unique experience with this tradition--today I had an amazing feeling as I heard my boy rush (in baby steps speed) with a loud cry to the door that I had just shut between us. We had just finished our daily wrestle and spins in the air, and he apparently was not ready to be done with the fun. That's when it hit me--I feel so good inside because he is crying...because he wants to be with ME!
To avoid seeing a nimbostratus cloud roll over my child's face, I "let" Mommy tend to his needs and continued on my path to begin jogging (yes, the jog was longer than the path!). The warm and pick-me-up feeling stuck with me and pushed me to ponder why my child's nightmare was my current joy. I don't think I discovered the answer but I did wonder, "Did he really want ME or did he want the feeling of fun, companionship and love that we felt together just minutes before?"
For purposes of learning a lesson for myself (and posting a new blog), I concluded that he merely associated those great feelings with being with Daddy. And he did NOT want those feelings to go away!! Seeing me leave out that door caused a compulsory panic, perhaps thinking that such great feelings would be gone...and when would they ever come back? I thought to myself (still): "Do I have such a longing for good feelings and good things that bring those good feelings that I panic or fall apart when they leave me?"
Do I allow fear, doubt, worry or discouragement to push love, peace, fun and companionship out the door and not even recognize that I am doing it? Or am I positively attached to those pick-me-up feelings so much that I never want to see them go?
It may not be healthy for a child to become too attached to his parents but I can't think of anything healthier than longing to have those good feelings and doing what you have to do to keep them with you. Or maybe he was just passing on those feelings to Daddy so his Dad could learn something today...
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Pass on Criticism by Looking at Your Shoes
From day to day, we search for the perfect shoes to wear--the ones that go with what we are wearing, the ones that are just comfortable or those that are just the closest. But choosing which shoes to wear typically depends on the occasion (and your personality). For those Type A personalities out there, it has to be the PERFECT shoe for the day, matching your mood, the weather, your clothes, your pen ink, your sock seam, whatever. Today I sought that perfect shoe--one that would allow me to get dirty but still look somewhat stylish.
As I entered the zone where our mound of unfilled feet seem to migrate from their partners so easily, I finally found a match and one pair that seemed to fit today's requirements. My relationship with these shoes has been off and on. But I grabbed them in a haste and then took an abrupt mental halt and carefully observed the shoe, remembering that I had once been in "heavy like" with it...and then I wondered why I had not kindled the close relationship for a few months. The materials and mold are so unique and the brand name was recognizable. So, I proudly slipped my repentant foot into the stylish shoe to complete my "outfit" for the day only to recognize why I had temporarily fallen out of "heavy like."
The past several times I wore these shoes, I did not take the time to carefully observe their "beauty" (if shoes can be beautiful). I simply put them on and went on with the day, occasionally glancing downward at my feet. That one angle of the shoes became my partial view of what those shoes really look like, which angle just happens to show the ONE fault (in my eyes) of a shoe worthy enough for me to wear--the toe is too pointy. So, my love for the shoes gradually grew dim because my view of them became so focused on their one fault that it eventually (but thankfully only temporarily) overshadowed the features that attracted me in the beginning. But by pausing to examine and appreciate the shoes, my love (or "heavy like") for them returned because I realized that there is more to the shoe than the pointy toe. Actually, there's a lot more.
So what?
CONCLUSION: Recognize that everyone has faults and so do you. But instead of dwelling on the "pointy toe" of that person, get over it and praise the beautiful and unique "materials and mold" of that person. What makes that person great? What makes the person admirable? What potential does that person exhibit? Now go and tell that person.
(By the way, if anyway can come up with a better word for outfit that has the same meaning, please let me know. I despise the word but am forced to use it since I lack another fitting word.)
As I entered the zone where our mound of unfilled feet seem to migrate from their partners so easily, I finally found a match and one pair that seemed to fit today's requirements. My relationship with these shoes has been off and on. But I grabbed them in a haste and then took an abrupt mental halt and carefully observed the shoe, remembering that I had once been in "heavy like" with it...and then I wondered why I had not kindled the close relationship for a few months. The materials and mold are so unique and the brand name was recognizable. So, I proudly slipped my repentant foot into the stylish shoe to complete my "outfit" for the day only to recognize why I had temporarily fallen out of "heavy like."
The past several times I wore these shoes, I did not take the time to carefully observe their "beauty" (if shoes can be beautiful). I simply put them on and went on with the day, occasionally glancing downward at my feet. That one angle of the shoes became my partial view of what those shoes really look like, which angle just happens to show the ONE fault (in my eyes) of a shoe worthy enough for me to wear--the toe is too pointy. So, my love for the shoes gradually grew dim because my view of them became so focused on their one fault that it eventually (but thankfully only temporarily) overshadowed the features that attracted me in the beginning. But by pausing to examine and appreciate the shoes, my love (or "heavy like") for them returned because I realized that there is more to the shoe than the pointy toe. Actually, there's a lot more.
So what?
CONCLUSION: Recognize that everyone has faults and so do you. But instead of dwelling on the "pointy toe" of that person, get over it and praise the beautiful and unique "materials and mold" of that person. What makes that person great? What makes the person admirable? What potential does that person exhibit? Now go and tell that person.
(By the way, if anyway can come up with a better word for outfit that has the same meaning, please let me know. I despise the word but am forced to use it since I lack another fitting word.)
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